A Horrible Journey Back Home
by Sarah32924
Summary: A farmiliar face is coming back home, but on her way back, something tragic happens. Chapter 7 is up! Chapter 8 is coming soon!! R&R!
1. Default Chapter

Chapter one  
  
The seatbelt sign clicks off and one very excited little girl jumps out of her seat.  
  
"Susie! Please, for the last time, sit down!" Says a very frustrated Susan Lewis.  
  
"Mom, how come I have to sit? Just because I am standing doesn't mean the plane is going to crash." Susie whined.  
  
"I know, honey, but-" the plane shaking cut Susan off guard. "Susie, come sit here, quick!" Susan exclaimed.  
  
"Mom, what's going on???" Asked Susie, who was extremely terrified.  
  
"I don't know, Susie. Just come sit by me and soon the flight attendant will come on the intercom and tell us what is going on." Susan said and wrapped her arm around Susie.  
  
The speakers beeped twice and the attendant came on. "Excuse me, everyone. We are experiencing some difficulties. Please remain seated and fasten your-" All of a sudden, the lights flickered out, the air conditioners went out, and the plane started to fall.  
  
-In the ER.  
  
"Mark! We have a massive trauma coming in. A plane coming in from Arizona crashed 10 miles away. So far there are 25 bodies found. They don't know if anyone is alive, but they said they are calling back in 2 minutes." Jerry said walking outside the hospital.  
  
"Okay, thanks, Jer." Mark said and went to go and find Kerry and Carter. He found both of them in the lounge getting coffee. "Kerry, Carter, we got a trauma coming in. 25 bodies, not sure if any are alive. They are calling back in two minutes to tell us how many are coming our way."  
  
Mark, Kerry, and Carter walked out of the lounge and walked over to Jerry.  
  
"Okay, thank you." Jerry said and hung up the phone. "You guys can calm down a little. There were only two survivors from the crash. They are both coming here. ETA 5 minutes." Jerry said.  
  
"Thanks, Jer." Mark said. "Okay, Carter, you and Kerry get trauma 1, Elizabeth and I will get trauma 2. Chuni, Haleah, and Yosh will get trauma room 1 also, and Malik Lydia, and Lily will come with me." Mark ordered and walked off to page Elizabeth.  
  
About 5 minutes later, the first gurney came crashing through the ER doors. "Six year old female. No ID, she was sitting next to the Emergency Exit along with a woman we assume is her mother. She is on her way. Possible broken ribs and fracture to the skull. Lacerations on back, stomach, and face." Doris rang out.  
  
"Okay, on my count! 1.2.3." Mark said and pulled the girl on the bed.  
  
Seconds later the second gurney came crashing through the ER doors.  
  
"34 year old female. Sitting next to the Emergency Exit next to a young girl who we believe is her daughter. There is an ID card, but its really screwed up. The police are taking a look at it now. Possible broken ribs, left leg, and internal bleeding. Couple lacerations on her face and back." The second paramedic rang out.  
  
"Okay, on my count! 1.2.3." Kerry counted and pulled the woman on the bed.  
  
"Okay," Carter began, "let's clean her up. Excuse me, ma'am. Can you tell me your name?" Carter asked, seeing if she was conscious, while using a flashlight to look at her eyes.  
  
"..Carter?" She whispered.  
  
Carter's face went blank. How did she know his name? His answer came when the cop came into the trauma room.  
  
"Woman's name is, Susan Lewis." He said and left the room.  
  
Carter's face paled and looked over to the other trauma room. "Chuni, tell Mark he has Susie and that Susan is in here." He said and went to work.  
  
Chuni went into trauma 1, backing into the door. "Mark! That's little Susie, we have Susan in here." Chuni stated.  
  
Mark looked up, shocked. He looked into the trauma room next to the one he was in and saw Susan, all battered up, then to Susie. "Okay, guys! Let's go!" He said and went to work.  
  
Back in trauma 2, 10 minutes later.  
  
"Okay, let's get a head CT, chest and leg X-Ray, and stitches on her back and face." Kerry ordered as Peter and the nurses rolled Susan out of the trauma room. At the same time, Susan was being rolled to the OR.  
  
"Mark? What's wrong with Susie?" Carter asked speed walking over to him.  
  
"Minor internal bleeding, but we need to get it fixed up quickly." Mark said as Elizabeth rolled her to the elevator.  
  
Kerry came limping over to the two men standing before her. "There goes our new chief resident."  
  
Carter and Mark looked at each other, faces drained. 


	2. Home Safe and Sound

Chapter 2 - Home Safe and Sound  
  
Susan woke up to find herself on a bed, with a man sitting next to her. Since her vision was blurred, she couldn't make out who the figure was. Once she blinked a few times, she saw that the man appeared to be asleep. She gently shook his shoulder and he lifted his head up.  
  
"Hey! You're awake. You've been sleeping all day. We didn't think you were going to wake up for a few days." Carter said.  
  
"Oh, my gosh! Where's Susie?" Susan asked worried. She sat up quickly and was about to take off the round patches on her chest.  
  
"Hey, hey. Lie down and relax. She is doing fine. She just got out of surgery a few hours ago and is in recovery." Carter said, laying Susan down, smoothing her hair out.  
  
Susan took a few deep breaths. "What did she have to go to surgery for?" Susan asked.  
  
"She had some internal bleeding, but nothing too major. A couple of lacerations on her back and face, but other than that, she is okay." Carter said as Susan blew out a long breath, which she didn't know she was holding. All of a sudden, a huge shot of pain went through her leg and she squinted her eyes. "Are you okay? You want some morphine?" Carter asked.  
  
She nodded. "My leg hurts a lot. What happened to it?"  
  
"Some debris fell on it and you bruised the bone. We gave you an air cast and you can take it off in a few days." He replied, squeezing in some morphine.  
  
"Thank you, Carter." Susan said.  
  
"For what?" He asked.  
  
"For being here when I woke up, even though you were asleep." She smiled.  
  
"Hey, I was worried about you. None of us knew you were coming back, except for Kerry. But I am just glad that you and Susie are okay. You should be out of here tomorrow." Carter said.  
  
"Um..was there anything left from the accident? Bags..people?" She asked, choking on the last word.  
  
Carter was silent for a few moments. "There was nothing left from the site. You and Susie were the only survivors." He looked down.  
  
Susan closed her eyes. "My worst fear came true, and only my daughter and I survived it. Kind of ironic." She opened her eyes. "It doesn't make sense. I feel horrible that everyone died, but I feel relieved also that Susie and I made it." She said with a little sigh of relief, but soon faded.  
  
"Me too." Carter said smiling. Susan smiled back.  
  
"So, what's wrong with me, Doc?" Susan teased. She smiled at his remark.  
  
'That smile.' He thought. Even after 5 years, that smile made him melt. He quickly came back to his senses and out of his trance. "Well, you have some lacerations on your stomach, and two on your face." Susan touched her face, feeling the stitches. "And the only other thing is your leg." Carter finished.  
  
"Can I see Susie?" Susan asked.  
  
"Sure. Let me get you a wheel chair." Carter said getting up. Susan pulled his arm.  
  
"Thank you." Susan said again. Carter smiled and went to get a wheel chair.  
  
Carter wheeled Susan to the recovery floor. They came to Susie's room to find she was still asleep. Susan gasped when she saw her. She held her hand and Susie stirred. Slowly, she opened her eyes and put a small smile on her face.  
  
"Hi, Mommy." Susie said, sounding like she would if she had a throat virus.  
  
"Hey, baby. How are you feeling?" Susan asked.  
  
"Okay, I guess. Mommy? Did I make the plane crash?" Susie asked with those large green eyes.  
  
Susan made a little chuckle and stroked Susie's hair. "No, you didn't. It was not your fault. Don't worry." Susan replied.  
  
"Mommy, where is everyone else?" Susie asked.  
  
Susan looked at Carter and gave him a sad look, then turned back to Susie. "Honey, they are all now in Heaven." Susan said searching for the right words.  
  
"Okay, you guys. You need to get some rest, so Susie, I am going to take your mom back downstairs." Carter said.  
  
"Okay. I love you, Mommy." Susie said.  
  
"I love you, too. Now, get some rest and I will see you soon." Susan said and kissed her daughter's hand.  
  
Carter brought Susan back to her bed. "I will check on you in an hour or so. Okay?" He asked.  
  
"Okay." Susan said as a tear slowly slipped down her cheek.  
  
"Hey, you alright?" He asked concerned.  
  
"Yeah, I'll be okay. Just the aftershock of everything." She said and lay down on her back. She closed her eyes and went to sleep.  
  
Carter walked to the door and stepped out. He paused at the window and looked through it, watching her for a few moments, then left. 


	3. A Crush? Or Love?

Chapter 3- Just a Crush? Or Love?  
  
-The next day..  
  
"Well, I guess it's time for you guys to be discharged." Mark said to Susan and Susie. During the night, Susie had been moved downstairs next to Susan.  
  
"That's a relief." Susan exclaimed.  
  
Carter came walking in with their belongings. "Well, good-morning, you two! Here is your stuff, Susan." Carter said handing the plastic bag to her.  
  
"Thanks, Carter." Susan said taking the bag from him. Susan got herself and Susie dressed and ready to leave.  
  
"Well, I will see you guys later." Susan said, grabbing her crutch.  
  
"Hey, I am off. Do you need a ride?" Carter asked.  
  
"That would be great. See you later, Mark." Susan said and left with Susie and Carter.  
  
"So, you guys have a place to stay?" Carter asked pulling onto the road.  
  
"Well, we were going to stay in an apartment building until we had enough money to buy a house, but it doesn't look like we can even do that. I guess I can-"  
  
"You guys can stay with me if you want. I have plenty of room." Carter said, cutting her off.  
  
"I wouldn't want to impose. I can call my mom and we can stay there." Susan replied.  
  
"Mom, I don't want to stay with Grandma Cookie. She is too nice." Susie stated. Carter and Susan chuckled.  
  
"Well, then I guess I can take you up on your offer, Carter. Thanks." Susan replied.  
  
"Cool. So, do you guys want to go out for dinner, or would you like for me to cook?" Carter asked.  
  
"Umm..let's see what Susie wants." Susan said to him, and then turned to face Susie. "What would you like to do, sweetie?" Susan asked.  
  
"I want to..see how Carter cooks." Susie replied.  
  
"Okay, then. Off to home." Carter said and turned left.  
  
-At the ER..  
  
Elizabeth walked down the hall looking for Mark, soon finding him. "Hey, Mark. Who is that umm..Susan Lewis?" She asked suspiciously.  
  
Mark turned his focus to Elizabeth and smiled. "Oh, she is just a friend from a few years back. Turns out she was on her way back here to be our new chief resident. She is starting when she gets better, why?"  
  
"Well, from what I have heard, it turns out that this Susan is an old love interest of yours." Elizabeth said folding her arms.  
  
"That was a long time ago, Elizabeth. I don't have any more feelings for her. We're just friends." Mark stated.  
  
"Okay, well I just wanted to make sure." Elizabeth said and gave Mark a small peck on the cheek. With that, she turned and left.  
  
'At least that's what I think.' He thought.  
  
-At Carter's house..  
  
Walking into the house, Carter picked Susie up. "See that picture over there?" He asked, pointing over to a picture with the ER staff on it. Susie nodded. "This is me, that is Carol, Doug, Mark, and this is your mom." He said pointing to Susan.  
  
"Wow, Mommy, you looked different." Susie said looking at Susan in the picture.  
  
"Yeah, that's when Mommy didn't have a nice tan and my hair was browner." She replied. Carter put Susie down and led the way to the stairs. Your rooms will be up here, just follow me." Carter said. They all walked upstairs and Carter showed each of them their rooms.  
  
"Wow, Carter. This is great. Thank you." Susan said getting back on her crutch, which she carried up the stairs with her.  
  
"No problem. Be right back, I am going to go show Susie her room." He said and left.  
  
She walked over to the window and gazed out. There was a really beautiful view of the pool and the backyard. When Carter returned, she was in a trance.  
  
"Susan..Suuuusssaaannnn?? Hey?" Carter said trying to get her attention. She kept staring out the window, so he moved between her and the window. He could tell that she was a thousand miles away. "Susan?" He said once more.  
  
She turned her eyes towards him. He looked in her eyes and saw pain; and was surprised that he could still read her eyes after the 5 years she was gone. Then he saw a tear slip slowly down her cheek. "Are you okay?" He asked.  
  
"I didn't..I didn't think we were going to make it. When the plane was falling, my life flashed before my eyes and I thought that this was it for sure. I was holding Susie and praying to God that we would be okay. When the plane hit the ground, there was a huge explosion in the front. Susie fell out of my arms and onto the floor and I hit my head on the door. I wasn't totally unconscious, so I fell to the floor and checked for a pulse on Susie. She was fine and had a strong pulse but she was unconscious. But then things got worse. The roof of the plane collapsed in on us, so I threw myself on Susie to cover her of debris. Something must have fell and hit me in the head, because I passed out and when I woke up, I was with you in the trauma room. I was so scared, not just for me, but for Susie mostly." Susan said.  
  
Carter shook his head. "Susan, all that matters now, is that you and Susie are okay. What you guys went through was horrible and you will never have to go through that again as long as I am here." Carter said, comforting her.  
  
"I know." Susan said. "I don't know why I am crying so much." She replied drying her face of the tears.  
  
"You're allowed to cry. You went through something horrible, life threatening and you made it. You're just overwhelmed." Carter said, his voice soft.  
  
"You a psychiatrist or a medical doctor?" Susan asked, a small smile on her face.  
  
"I had to take a lesson on it in my training." Carter replied, returning the smile.  
  
"I have a question." Susan said, a serious expression on her face.  
  
"And what is that?" Carter asked.  
  
"What would you have done if Susie and I hadn't pulled through?"  
  
"I would have blamed myself because I couldn't bring you back, since it's what I am supposed to do. And things probably would have never been the same." He replied.  
  
"Mom? Carter? What's wrong?" Susie asked, walking into Susan's room.  
  
"Nothing, sweetie. Don't worry." Carter replied. "So, what would you like for dinner? I can make anything you want."  
  
Susie looked up at Susan and Carter. "Doesn't matter to me. Anything that you guys want."  
  
Carter turned his focus on Susan. "What would you like to have?"  
  
"Hmmm..how does steak and mashed potatoes sound?" Susan replied.  
  
"Sounds good to me!" Carter said.  
  
"Me too!" Susie exclaimed. She ran over to where Carter and Susan were standing. She took each of their hands and looked up at them smiling. Carter looked at Susie, smiled back, and then smiled at Susan, who smiled back at him. He bent down and lifted Susie in the air and she laughed and wrapped her arms around his neck. "I'm glad you're Mommy's friend." She whispered in Carter's ear.  
  
"Me too." He whispered back. "Now, what do you say, would you like to help me make mashed potatoes?" Carter asked her, speaking in a regular tone this time.  
  
"Yeah!" Susie said. She jumped down from Carter's arms and ran downstairs. Susan and Carter soon followed, in a slower pace because of Susan's bruised leg.  
  
-A few hours later..  
  
"That was great, Carter. Thank you." Susan said.  
  
"Yeah, thank you, Carter." Susie said.  
  
"Well, you're welcome, pretty lady." Carter said to Susie in a cowboy accent. Susie squealed with laughter.  
  
"Wow, it's 7:30. Feels later than that. Do you mind if I head in a little early?" Susan asked.  
  
"Not at all. Hey, would you feel up to going to the hospital with me tomorrow and visit everyone?" Carter asked.  
  
"Yeah, I would really enjoy that." Susan said.  
  
"Okay, well, you head on up. I will send Susie up in a few minutes to say good-night." Carter said.  
  
"Okay, good-night, Carter." Susan said and went upstairs. As said, Susie was up in a few minutes, ready to go to bed, as she too was tired.  
  
"Good-night, Mommy." Susie said in a yawn.  
  
"Good-night, sweetie. Sleep well." Susan said and kissed Susie goodnight. 


	4. Two Reawakened Loves

Chapter 4- Two Reawakened Loves  
  
-The next morning..  
  
Carter's alarm clock went off. He rubbed his eyes and got up, went downstairs, and got all of his things together. When he walked upstairs, he stopped by Susan's room. The door was slightly opened so he peaked his head inside and looked in. Susie must have gotten up in the middle of the night and went in, because she and Susan were now sleeping side by side together on her bed. Carter walked inside and over to Susan. He shook her arm gently, trying to awaken her.  
  
"Susan, hey, it's time to get up." He said as she opened her eyes.  
  
"What time is it?" She asked.  
  
"8:00. I figured you'd want to take a shower. I am going to head out and will be right back in about 20 minutes." Carter said, his coat on and everything.  
  
"Okay, see you then." Susan said and got out of bed.  
  
When Carter returned, he had two bags in his hands. Susan was out of the shower, wrapped up in a robe that one of the maids got for her. "Welcome back." Susan said, as she was doing her hair.  
  
"I got you and Susie something." Carter said and placed the bags on a counter.  
  
"You didn't have to, Carter." Susan said looking at him.  
  
"I wanted to. Tell me, what do you think? This bag is for you, this one is for Susie." He said pointing to one bag, then the other.  
  
Susan opened the bag. "Clothes? Whoa, these look expensive, Carter." Susan said looking at him.  
  
"Well, everything was ruined in the crash, and you didn't have anything else to wear except for the clothes you had on you, so I went out and bought some stylish clothing for you, and things that a lot of kids Susie's age are wearing. Don't worry about the cost. I only want the best for you two." He said a smile on his face.  
  
"Thank you, Carter. I owe you." Susan said and kissed him on the cheek. "I am going to get Susie and myself changed. We'll be ready in twenty minutes, then we can leave." She said and turned to leave. As she went upstairs to get changed, Carter put his hand to his cheek, the one Susan kissed him on, and felt that he was about to faint.  
  
-In the ER..  
  
Susie, Susan and Carter walked in side by side. To Susan's surprise, she was greeted right away by one of her favorite nurses in the ER.  
  
"Hey, girl!" Haleah said hugging Susan. "You look so much better!"  
  
"Thanks, Haleah. Umm..do you know, by any chance, where Mark is?" Susan asked.  
  
Haleah's smile faded as Susan spoke Mark's name. Susan hadn't found out. "Uh, he should be in the lounge."  
  
"Okay, thanks. Hey, Carter? Would you mind taking Susie up to get something to eat? She didn't eat breakfast." Susan asked, now turned back to him.  
  
"Sure thing, Susan. C'mon, squirt, let's get some grub." Carter said and picked Susie up in piggyback style. Susan smiled as she heard Susie laughing her head off.  
  
Susan walked into the lounge and saw Mark sitting in a chair with his back towards her. She quietly walked over to him. "Hey, Mark." Susan whispered in his ear.  
  
"Susan!" Mark said getting up, and hugged her. "How are you feeling?"  
  
"Oh, I am feeling so much better. It's so good to be back. I really missed you." Susan said in a soft voice.  
  
Mark smiled out of the corner of his mouth. "I missed you, too."  
  
"It's been so long. How have you been?" Susan asked, sitting down on the beige couch.  
  
"Well," Mark said sitting down next to her, "recently I have been good, but I wasn't so lucky after you left." Mark said looking down at his hands.  
  
Susan clasped her right hand over his. "Mark, what happened?" She asked.  
  
Mark let out a small sigh. "Not too long after you left, maybe a few weeks later, two men were involved in an accident. One white man, one black man. The white man had more serious injuries that were visible to the eye so I chose to work on him first and let Peter watch over the other man. The black man's brother came in and said that his brother needed help, and he called me a racist because I was working on the white man. Well, the black patient ended up dying, and his brother got mad. I thought that was going to be the end of the story, but I was wrong. A few weeks after he died, I was attacked in the men's bathroom. Whoever it was got me really good. I am guessing that the black man's brother was mad and didn't want to do the job himself and hired another man to do it for him." He said.  
  
"Wow, Mark. That's horrible. I'm sorry that you had to go through it." Susan said.  
  
"That's not all. Last year.." Mark fell silent.  
  
"Mark, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to." Susan said.  
  
Mark cut her off, intertwining their fingers together. "Last year, I was diagnosed with a rare cancer. It was in my brain. They thought I was going to die for sure unless I found someone who was not only qualified, but someone who would want to do the surgery to remove it. I was lucky. I found one of the best surgeons in the states and it turned out successful." Mark said and looked at Susan's face. Her expression read shock.  
  
"That's a lot to take in. H-how come you didn't tell me about it?" Susan asked.  
  
"I thought you were mad at me. Believe me, I wanted to tell you." Mark said.  
  
"Why did you think that I was mad at you?" Susan asked.  
  
"Well, you never returned my calls. So finally, one day I just stopped. But you've never left my mind or my heart. So many times when I have felt lost, I thought of just jumping on the next flight to Arizona." Mark replied.  
  
"I'm sorry I never returned your calls. It was just.hard. I thought that it would've been best if we didn't have contact for a little while. But you never left me either. Even to this day." Susan said. But at that moment, Elizabeth walked in and stopped dead in her tracks. She looked at their hands, and then sternly focused her attention on Mark.  
  
"Mark, I need to speak with you." Elizabeth said half-heartedly.  
  
Mark nodded at Elizabeth, then turned back to Susan. "I'll find you later so we can finish talking." Mark said, and unconsciously kissed Susan on the cheek. Lucky for him, Elizabeth had already left the lounge.  
  
Susan nodded. "See you later." She replied, a little taken back by his kiss.  
  
Mark left the lounge and went to find Elizabeth. He found her outside, her arms wrapped around herself from the cold. He walked up to her and turned her around. "You needed to speak to me?" He asked. Elizabeth glared at him. "Yes, Mark, I do need to talk to you. What was that in there? Why were you holding hands and looking at her that way?" Elizabeth questioned.  
  
"Elizabeth, we were just catching up on old times. I was telling her about last year and she was just assuring me it was okay. As for looking at each other, I was looking at her the same way I always used to. She is my best friend. Nothing more, Elizabeth." Mark said, not particularly liking this jealous side of her.  
  
"Sure didn't look like you two were just friends. It looked like you two were just friends. It looked as though you were loved her in there, Mark. Just remember to whom you are married, Mark." Elizabeth said and walked back inside.  
  
Mark stood outside wondering why she was being like this. Of course he loved Susan. He always had.... But then he knew what was wrong. He felt different. And Elizabeth had seen through his eyes. He was falling back in love with Susan all over again as if she had never left. "NO!" He cursed himself. "You love Elizabeth. She is your wife." He said to himself and walked inside.  
  
25 minutes later, Mark walked out of a trauma room, throwing his gown on the ground forcefully. With sweat beading and spilling down the sides of his balding head, his eyes caught Susan's. She frowned, knowing he lost his patient. He walked up to her and took the offered tissue for his head. "Hey, Susan. We need to talk. Meet me at Doc's in 10? It's important." Mark asked.  
  
Susan looked at him with a somewhat confused look on her face. "Sure, Mark." She nodded.  
  
"Okay, see you then." Mark said and went to go change into scrubs. On his way, he passed Elizabeth; she didn't have a pleasant look on her face. Not wanting to have to get into anything right now, he walked on. In the men's locker room, Carter greeted him.  
  
"Hey, Mark. How's it going?" Carter asked, putting on a scrub t-shirt.  
  
Mark sighed. "Not so good."  
  
"Why, what's up?" He asked sitting down next to Mark.  
  
"Susan. She doesn't know about Elizabeth and I. And then Elizabeth came into the lounge and saw me and Susan talking, and she thought that I still had feelings for Susan." He replied changing.  
  
"Do you?" Carter asked seriously, hoping that Mark would reply with a 'no'.  
  
Mark sat silently for a few moments, thinking. Did he? He loved Elizabeth, for that he was sure. But Susan, she was his other half in life. He depended on her even when she wasn't there. Even knowing that she was out there somewhere, alive and was always there when he really needed her, was all he needed in life to survive. "I don't know, Carter. I mean, I've always loved her." Mark paused and looked at Carter's face, which was in an unreadable expression.  
  
"Mark, what do you mean? You willing to ruin your marriage to have a relationship with Susan?" Carter asked.  
  
"I don't know, Carter. I love Susan and I love Elizabeth. The thing is, I can imagine my life without Elizabeth, but I can't imagine my life without Susan." Mark replied.  
  
Carter stood there speechless. "I don't know what to tell you, Mark. All I know is that I know what that's like. Susan has that hold on people." Carter said.  
  
"You mean, you have feelings for Susan, too?" Mark asked.  
  
"Yeah." Carter said in a low voice, as if seemed ashamed.  
  
Just then Carter's pager went off. "I'll catch you later, Carter." Mark said and left for Doc's.  
  
-At Doc's..  
  
Susan sat at a table booth, sipping at her coffee, when Mark entered. "Sorry I'm late. Carter needed to clear something up with me." Mark said and sat down across from Susan.  
  
"It's okay. I just got here myself. So, what is it that you need to talk to me about?" Susan asked.  
  
Mark cleared his throat." Well, when you left for Arizona, we were sure that you weren't coming back. And as you know..some people move on." He said and paused, looking at her. She just stared back, waiting for him to continue. "Well, what I am trying to say is that..I have moved on..I got married last year, and I have a new baby girl named Ella." He finished.  
  
Susan sat there speechless. "I, uh, don't know what to say." She said with a nervous laugh. She bit her bottom lip nervously, and looked down trying to hide her disappointment. "I'm happy for you; that you've found happiness. I couldn't have expected for you to wait for me, never knowing if I was ever to return." By the time she finished her sentence, she had looked up at him once again.  
  
"But, Susan. The thing is, when you returned, you weren't the only thing that returned for me. All those old feelings that I had for you- No, they're not old feelings. I've always loved you. And if things were different, I would be with you. But things aren't different." Not expecting this, he saw tears start to pool in Susan's eyes. Mark moved to sit next to her, but she shook her head.  
  
"No, I'm okay; just a lot to take in. Um, I'm gonna head on back to Carter's." She sniffed. "If you want to talk, give me a call there, or I will just see you at work." She said and kissed him on the cheek.  
  
"Susan, wait." He said, but she was already out the door. "Damn it!" He cursed to himself. He upset her, which was the last thing he ever wanted to do to her.  
  
-Later that day..  
  
"Susan?" Carter asked, walking into the mansion. It was about 8:45 pm, and he didn't hear anything. He walked quietly up the stairs to Susie's room. There, he found Susie fast asleep in her bed. Then he heard someone crying and he walked towards Susan's room. "Susan?" He asked again, knocking lightly, so not to disturb her.  
  
Susan looked up at him and tried wiping the tears away. "Hi, Carter." She said clearing her throat.  
  
"What's wrong?" Carter asked walking over to the bed to sit down next to her.  
  
"Nothing. I'm fine; nothing I can't handle." She replied, not too convincingly.  
  
"C'mon, Susan. You can tell me." He paused. "You don't have to if you don't want to."  
  
Susan sniffed and looked at him for a few seconds. "It's going to sound stupid, but Mark told me about Elizabeth. I wasn't expecting it."  
  
Carter's expression changed to the look of 'oh'. "You thought that you two would get together in the future, huh?"  
  
Susan paused, thinking. Did she honestly think that he was going to take her back after she left him that day? "I don't know, Carter. I was hoping." She shrugged. She looked down at her hands, but looked back up when she heard Carter sigh. "What's wrong? I'm that depressing, huh?" She lightly joked.  
  
Carter looked at her, studying her face. Why hadn't she seen through him a few days ago? Oh yeah, MARK. "You're not at all depressing." He said taking her into his arms, resting his chin on top of her head. He felt her relax into him, and it put a smile on his face. "You're perfect." He said unconsciously.  
  
Susan half laughed. "I am anything but perfect." She said looking up at him; him staring down at her. He took advantage of the moment, and slowly lowered his face to hers. When she didn't retreat, he went in for the kill. It was a short, but sweet kiss, and Carter loved it. 


	5. Rejection and Love

Chapter 5- Rejection  
  
Susan pulled away from the kiss. "I'm sorry, Carter." She said getting up.  
  
"No, you didn't do anything. I'm sorry." Carter said.  
  
"I just..I love Mark. I love you, too, Carter. But not the way you feel for me." She tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear. "Maybe Susie and I should leave. We can be out tomorrow."  
  
"No, Susan. Don't do that. You are still welcome to stay here. I can put my feelings aside. Please stay." Cater pleaded.  
  
"I will stay, but only until I can find an open apartment." She replied.  
  
"Good," Carter said with a sigh of relief.  
  
"I'm going to go to sleep now. I have my first day back tomorrow and I want to be well rested. Good-night, Carter." Susan said, who was now standing by her dresser.  
  
"Good-night." Carter said and left her guest bedroom.  
  
The next day at work..  
  
Elizabeth walked into the trauma room to see a badly hurt patient on the gurney. "What do we got?" Elizabeth asked Susan.  
  
"48 year old make. GSW to the lower abdomen; possible ruptured spleen. He is stable, but still critical." Susan said.  
  
Elizabeth looked at Susan, a little uncomfortable. "Okay, let's get him upstairs." She said and wheeled him out.  
  
Susan pealed the bloody gloves and gown off and threw them away into the waste basket. "Good save." She heard a familiar voice say behind her. She turned to see Mark standing there.  
  
"Thanks." She said.  
  
"So, how's your first day back?" He asked as they walked down the hall.  
  
"Well, it's going good so far. Haven't lost anyone yet." She smiled. "At least you haven't. I have already lost 3 patients. Each with alcohol poisoning. Each one puking his and her guts out all over me. I have already changed scrubs 3 times and I normally don't even change them that much." Mark complained.  
  
Susan giggled. The sound of it was music to Mark's ears. "My day is turning out to sound like a day in Heaven compared to your day in Hell."  
  
"Laugh now, you're going to have a day like this soon." He said. "So, what are you doing tonight? A bunch of us are planning to go to a party." Mark said.  
  
"Well, I was planning on just staying home with Susie, but maybe I will go. That's if I am invited." Susan said.  
  
"Everyone who has tomorrow off is invited." Mark said.  
  
"Where is it going to be at?" Susan asked.  
  
"It's going to be at Haleah's house from 9 to morning hours." Mark said. "What are you going to do about Susie?" Mark asked.  
  
"I will drop her off with my mom. Mom was begging to see Susie anyway." She replied.  
  
"Ah- the life with Cookie Lewis." Mark said sarcastically.  
  
"Oh- shut up." She said and playfully punched him on the arm.  
  
"So, I'll see you there?" Mark asked.  
  
"Yep." Susan said and they walked in different directions. Susan ended up bumping into Carter. "Hey." She said.  
  
"Hi, how's it going so far?" Carter asked.  
  
"So far, so good." She replied. "What do you have planned for tonight?"  
  
"I'm pulling a double, why?" Carter replied.  
  
"Well, I was going to ask if you were planning on going to Haleah's party tonight. But I guess not." She said.  
  
"Oh. Are you gonna go?" Carter asked.  
  
"Most likely. I am just gonna drop Susie off with my mom and then head over to the party."  
  
"Okay, well, I will leave the door unlocked for you incase the maids or butlers don't hear you knocking or ringing the doorbell." Carter said. "Don't stay out too late." He winked.  
  
Susan smiled and walked away from him to the admit desk. "Randi, do we have any other patients?"  
  
Randi took the sucker from her mouth. "Nope, not one. This place is dead. I guess people know you were coming back and decided to let you off easy on your first day."  
  
"Yeah, either that or they knew I was coming back and that's why they're staying away." Susan joked. "If anyone asks for me, tell them I'm on break at Doc's." She said.  
  
Randi stuck the sucker back in her mouth and started looking at a fashion magazine. "Mm-hmm."  
  
Susan rolled her eyes as she left the hospital. "Some things never do change." She thought. At doc's she was a new face. Well, not exactly a new face. She had known her from long ago, but this time she looked upset. "Rachel? Is that you?" Susan asked.  
  
"SUSAN?! Oh my gosh!" She exclaimed, jumped up and hugged Susan.  
  
"How are you doing?" Susan asked.  
  
"Lousy. I ran away from home. Things aren't quite working out with Mom." Rachel said taking a seat with Susan at a booth.  
  
"I'm sorry to hear that. Does your father know that you're here?"  
  
"No, not yet. I still haven't gathered up enough courage to go in there yet. I'm kind of nervous to see what he'll say. I mean, he has a new baby, a new wife, and I haven't been in the picture for a while." Rachel said.  
  
"So you think that he will not want you to stay with him and he will send you back home?" Susan asked.  
  
"Exactly..- Hey wait a minute. What are you doing back here? I thought that you were in Arizona?" She asked.  
  
"I was, and that was until I finally got to adopt Susie. That's when I came back." Susan replied.  
  
"I'm happy that you got to adopt Susie. You were miserable without her." Rachel smiled.  
  
"I was. Say, why don't we go inside and see you dad. Things wont be as bad as you think they will be. Trust me." Susan said, getting out of the booth and offered Rachel a hand.  
  
Rachel pondered on the thought. "Okay. I guess you're right." Rachel said. She and Susan got up and walked into the hospital.  
  
Later that day..around 6:30 PM..  
  
"Yes, Jen, she is here. Susan-" Mark paused, "yes, Susan Lewis, yes she came back. Susan found her at Doc's." Mark said on the phone. "Well, she said that you two weren't getting along, so why don't I keep her here for a cool down period? Ok, I will talk to you later. Yep, bye." With that, he hung up the phone. At this time, Mark and Rachel were at home.  
  
"Hey, Dad?" Rachel asked.  
  
"Yeah, Rach?" Mark asked.  
  
"Thanks for letting me stay here. I really missed you."  
  
"I missed you too. And besides, you're my daughter. I would never turn you away." He replied. Rachel smiled.  
  
"So, are you happy Susan is back?" Rachel asked.  
  
"Yeah, I'm really happy." Mark said, and sighed sadly.  
  
"What's wrong?" Rachel asked concerned.  
  
"You're too young to understand." Mark replied, resting his head on his hand, which was propped up on the arm of the couch.  
  
"Hmmm.let me guess. Now that Susan is back, you realized you still have feelings for her? But you can't do anything about it because of Elizabeth?" Rachel suggested.  
  
Mark stared at his daughter. "When did you become so smart about matters of the heart?" He asked.  
  
"When you and Mom got divorced." She replied. "Dad, listen to your heart. Don't end up miserable because of a mistake that you make." With that, she got up, kissed Mark on the cheek, and went to unpack some of the things that she brought with her.  
  
"Hey, Rachel. I'm going to a party tonight and won't be home until late. If Elizabeth asks why you are here, just tell her you're here to meet Ella. Make yourself at home" Mark said.  
  
"Okay, thanks, Dad." Rachel yelled from the guest bedroom.  
  
Mark jumped in the shower as his first step of getting ready for the party. He knew tonight was going to be somewhat awkward with Susan, but he had to make the best of things. He just hoped that his true feelings wouldn't take over and make him do something that he'll regret tomorrow morning. At about 8:30, he hopped into the car and headed over to Haleah's house. Since his nerves were getting the best of him, he decided to put on some tunes.  
  
'Any time you feel Like you just can't hold on Just hold on to my love And I'll help you be strong But you're so afraid to lose And baby I can't reach you're heart I can't face this world That's keeping us apart And I could be the one to show you All that you have missed before Just hold on now 'Cause I can be the one to give you more  
  
Any time you need love Baby I'm on your side (hey) Just let me be the one I can make it alright (I can make it alright) Any time you need love Baby you're in my heart  
  
I can make it alright'  
  
By the time the chorus ended, Mark had to change the station. Turns out the song reminded him more about the situation he was in more than ever. But soon enough, he arrived at Heleah's house; cars already parked along the side of the road about a half mile down. AS he drove down the road to find a parking spot, he saw Susan's mother's car parked alongside the road. Coincidently, there was a parking spot right behind her, so he took it. As he got out of his car, he saw Susan still sitting in her car. Noticing she was looking in the other direction of himself, he lightly tapped on the window. She turned her face to see who it was and smiled when she saw it was he. A moment later she opened the door and got out. Mark had to catch his breath. She looked stunning. She was wearing a white spaghetti strap top with black dressy pants that flared at the bottom. Her hair was put up in a bun with her bangs curled beside her face.  
  
"Hey, I was waiting for you." She said.  
  
"Oh, you were? How long were you waiting for?" He asked surprised.  
  
"Not too long, 10 minutes tops." She replied. "Do I look okay? I think I might have gone a little overboard" She said.  
  
"No, no. You look great!" Mark said, convincingly.  
  
Susan smiled. "Thanks, Mark. So do you, by the way." She replied. They stood there for a few awkward moments. "Uh, shall we go in?" Mark asked offering his arm.  
  
"Yeah." Susan replied. When they arrived in the house, which was more like a mansion than a house, they were relieved to find that others were dressed like them. Music was playing and people were dancing. There were tonic and food platters. As they were getting drinks, Peter came up to them.  
  
"Hey! You look great!" Peter said to Susan.  
  
Susan flashed him a smile. "Thanks, likewise."  
  
"Thanks. Well, enjoy the party." Peter said and went to dance with Cleo. Everyone in the house, except for a few, were dancing with one another. Mark looked over at Susan.  
  
"Would you like to dance?" Mark asked.  
  
"Sure!" She said and set down her drink. They walked to the 'dance floor' and started to dance, but when they did, the fast song changed to a slow song. Awkwardly, they wrapped their arms around one another, Mark's arms around her waist, and Susan's arms around his neck. They danced to the song in silence, but looked at each other and smiled every once and a while.  
  
'I can't fight this feeling any longer And yet I'm still afraid to let it flow What started out as friendship has grown stronger I only wish I had the strength to let it show  
  
I tell myself that I can't hold out forever I said there is no reason for my fear 'Cause I feel so secure when we're together You give my life direction You make everything so clear  
  
And even as I wander I'm keeping you in sight You're a candle in the window On a cold, dark winter's night And I'm getting closer than I ever thought I might  
  
And I can't fight this feeling anymore I've forgotten what I started fighting for It's time to bring this ship into the shore And throw away the oars, forever  
  
'Cause I can't fight this feeling anymore I've forgotten what I started fighting for And if I have to crawl upon the floor Come crashing through the door Baby, I can't fight this feeling anymore  
  
My life has been such a whirlwind since I saw you I've been running around in circles in my mind And it always seems that I'm following you, girl 'Cause you take me to the places that alone I'd never find'  
  
As the song continued to play, Mark heard Susan sigh. "What's wrong?"  
  
Susan looked up at him. "This song couldn't sound more like us, could it?"  
  
Mark smiled, "I was thinking the same thing." They locked eyes, and at that moment, Mark didn't care. He kissed Susan. When the kiss ended, they turned around. No one saw. Then they looked at each other, surprised. "I love you, Susan." He whispered, loud enough only for her to hear.  
  
Susan smiled and tears of joy started to fill her eyes, but never fell. "I love you, too." She whispered. They walked off the 'dance floor' and sat down on chairs that were beside each other. "What are we going to do? We obviously can't continue this, Mark. You're married." She said.  
  
"I'm going to have to tell Elizabeth. I can't lie to her. And I am going to have to tell her that I love you."  
  
"Mark, it's going to ruin your marriage." Susan said.  
  
"I don't want to go through life unhappy anymore. When I am without you, I am unhappy. I almost lost you once, Susan, and I almost lost you for good just a few days ago. I want to be with you as much as possible." He replied.  
  
"I want to be with you, too." Susan said.  
  
Later that night, before they left, Mark kissed Susan goodbye and told her he would call her the next day. 


	6. Heartbreak and Love

Mark walked into his house around 1:30 AM to find a note written on a piece of paper next to the coffee pot. It read:  
  
"Dear Mark,  
I am sorry for thinking those things about you and Susan. I didn't mean to yell at you. I guess I took it the wrong way, and got jealous. I love you, Mark.  
  
Love, Elizabeth"  
  
"Aw shit!" Mark cursed. How was he supposed to tell Elizabeth now? All of a sudden he got an idea and took a piece of paper out of the drawer where they kept all their bills. He wrote:  
  
"Dear Elizabeth,  
You were right about my feelings for Susan. I didn't lie to you. At the time I didn't know it and when you brought it up, that's when I knew. Elizabeth, I love you, but I can't live without her. I kissed her tonight at the party, and I am sorry to tell you this, but it felt right. I am so sorry, I never meant to hurt you. I will call or see you at work. And I would still like to see Ella. But we can talk about it some other time. I am going to stay with someone tonight and will stop by the house tomorrow to get Rachel. Again, I am sorry.  
  
Mark"  
  
Mark walked into his bedroom where Elizabeth slept soundly. He tucked the note underneath the alarm clock where he knew she would see it in the morning when she awoke. Without another moment to pass by, he was gone.  
  
Susan was sitting on the couch watching the television, unable to fall asleep from the things that happened at the party. At around 3:30, Carter walked into the house from his shift.  
  
"Hey, how was the party?" He asked. She didn't answer. "Susan?"  
  
"Huh? Oh, hi. The party was great." She replied.  
  
"That's it? It was great?" He asked.  
  
"Mark kissed me. He is leaving Elizabeth for me, and now I feel like a home wrecker." Susan replied. Carter was shocked. "Susan, you're not a home wrecker. Everyone knows that you two were destined to be together and that she is totally wrong for him. The whole ER staff has a bet on how long their relationship will last; it's been going on since the day they got married. Don't worry. Everything will be okay." Carter said, by now he was sitting on the couch next to her.  
  
"Are you sure?" Susan asked.  
  
"Yeah, I'm positive." Carter replied.  
  
"Thanks, Carter." Susan said and got up. "Good-night."  
  
"Good-night." With that, they both went to their rooms and went to bed.  
  
The next day..  
  
The alarm clock buzzed and Elizabeth hit the button to shut it up. She turned over to find no one beside her. Puzzled, she looked over at the alarm clock, which read 7:30. "That's odd, I thought he would've been home by now-" But that was when she saw the note underneath the alarm clock. Reading the note, sadness and anger filled her veins. Sadness because her husband was leaving her, anger because Susan was the reason he was doing so. A knock on the door interrupted her thoughts.  
  
"Elizabeth?" Rachel asked in the doorway. "Where's my dad?"  
  
Elizabeth cleared her throat. "He is over someone's house." She replied.  
  
Suddenly it hit her. She saw the note, her dad wasn't there, and Elizabeth was upset. "I'm sorry, Elizabeth." She said quietly.  
  
"What for?" Elizabeth asked, wondering if Rachel knew or not.  
  
"About Dad leaving you." She moved into the bedroom, hoping it was okay, and sat on the bed next to Elizabeth. She sighed, but continued. "I know I am only 14 years old, and you probably don't think I know much about love, but you have to know about their past." She paused, feeling a little tension in the air, but continued anyway. "They were best friends for 4 years. Secretly in their hearts, so deep that they didn't even know it themselves, they were deeply in love with one another." Elizabeth shifted uncomfortably on her spot of the bed. "Even when my dad was married to my mother. Everyone knew that they were a 'match made in Heaven', but they were too stubborn to see it. And when Susan said she was leaving, his whole world crashed down on him, and that was when he knew that he loved her. Even as she left on the train that day, she told him that she too loved him. After that day, for about a month, he was miserable, which made everyone else miserable. Now, I am not telling you this so you'll feel any kind of sympathy for either of them, but because you need to know that she is a good person and so is he, and they would never do a thing like this if it weren't for true love." Elizabeth sighed. "It just hurts. You love someone with all your heart, thinking that they love you back with the same amount, but then it all turns out that they were just playing you the whole time."  
  
"He wasn't playing you. He wrote to me one day when I was with my mom, telling me that you two were to be married, and he said he was lucky to have found love at last. You know he doesn't want to hurt you, Elizabeth." Rachel said. She saw tears starting to form in Elizabeth's eyes, so she took her in her arms and let her cry. "You want to stay home today? I can call in for you." Rachel suggested.  
  
Elizabeth shook her head. "No, you're father is coming here today to pick you up. I think that it's best if we don't see each other unless it is necessary for a little while." She wiped the tears off of her face. "I am going to get ready. If Ella wakes up, can you feed her for me?" Elizabeth asked.  
  
Rachel smiled. "Sure. No problem."  
  
"Thanks." Elizabeth sighed and went to get ready for work.  
  
At Kerry's house..  
  
"Thanks again, Kerry. I really appreciate you letting me stay here last night." Mark said getting his coat and keys.  
  
"No problem, Mark. Anytime." Kerry replied.  
  
With that, Mark headed to Carter's. As he drove, he thought of Ella. What was he going to tell her when she got older? Would she want to talk to him anymore when Elizabeth told her the reason she didn't have a daddy was because he left her for another woman? As he pulled up to Carter's place, he saw Susie playing in the front yard with Susan. He shut the engine off and got out. When he closed the door, it caught Susan's attention. Automatically, a smile was plastered on Susan's face and she jogged over to him.  
  
"Hey, stranger. How's it going?" Susan asked.  
  
"I left a not for Elizabeth last night and stayed at Kerry's." Mark replied.  
  
"Kerry? As in Kerry WEAVER?" Susan asked, bewildered.  
  
"Yeah. Her basement was turned into a spare bedroom a while back and offered it to me anytime I need. But now I am here." He said and wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her. In return, she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him back. But no sooner did someone interrupt them.  
  
"Mommy? Who's this?" Susie asked, tugging on the bottom of Susan's shirt.  
  
"This is Mark. You don't remember him, but when you were a tiny baby, he changed your diapers." Susan smiled at Susie, then Mark.  
  
"Why were you kissing him? Is he going to my daddy?" Susie asked.  
  
Susan, who was caught off guard, looked at Mark, her smile now gone, then to Susie. "I don't know, sweetie. Maybe some day soon, but as for now, just call him Mark." She smiled at Mark, and he smiled back.  
  
"I'm going to get Rachel soon. What should we do about she and I staying?" Mark asked.  
  
"Well, I looked at apartments, ones with 3 bedrooms, a bathroom, a living room, and kitchen. They all seem affordable with our paychecks with more to spare." Susan replied. "That's if you want to move in together." She bit her lip.  
  
Mark smiled. "I wouldn't have it any other way." He said and kissed her.  
  
Later that day..  
  
"Carter, thanks for letting us stay here until we move into our apartment. It won't be long, so don't worry." Mark said bringing some of his things into Susan's bedroom.  
  
"Not a problem, Mark." Carter said. He was a little uncomfortable about him and Rachel also staying but whatever made Susan happy made him happy. "Did you guys already find an apartment that you like?"  
  
"Yeah, it's nice. Not to mention big. It fits us. Now all we need to do is get furniture." Susan replied.  
  
"Well, I already have some. Elizabeth is also moving into an apartment and can't take all of our stuff. So we have a couch, loveseat, a coffee table, 4 night stands, a few lamps, and a bed that we kept in our spare bedroom. So basically, all we need is things for the kitchen, like pots and pans, forks, things like that; and we need another bed for Rachel." Mark said to Susan.  
  
"Oh, well then we're almost all set. When can we start moving in?" Susan asked.  
  
"Elizabeth is starting to move her things in two days. While she is doing hers, we can do ours." Mark replied.  
  
"Okay. Well, I have to go to work. See you later." She said and kissed Mark on the cheek.  
  
"I have to go in also. You want a ride?" Carter offered.  
  
Susan smiled. "Sure, that would be great."  
  
"Okay. Um, I am going to go shopping for the other things we need, so I'll have Rachel baby-sit Susie." Mark said.  
  
"Okay, bye." Susan said and left with Carter.  
  
As Carter and Susan got into his car, he finally spoke up. "So, things look like they are working out with you and Mark."  
  
"Yeah, they are. Listen, I know how awkward things must be for you, because it is for me also. But really, I appreciate it." Susan said.  
  
"Whatever makes you happy." Carter said as they pulled out onto the road. The rest of the ride was silent.  
  
Elsewhere..  
  
As Elizabeth was in the car driving to work, she was looking through the radio stations for some music. Finding nothing she like, she left it on the last station she was on.  
  
"And with her new hit, 'The trouble with love is', here is Kelly Clarkson." 'How ironic.' Elizabeth thought.  
  
'Love can be a many splendid things Can't deny the joy it brings Dozen roses, diamond ring Dreams for sale and fairy tales It'll make you hear a symphony And you just want the world to see But like a drug that makes you blind It'll fool you any time  
  
The trouble with love is It can tear you up inside Make your heart believe a lie It's stronger than your pride The trouble with love is It doesn't care how fast you And you can't refuse the call See you got no say at all  
  
'How true.' Elizabeth thought.  
  
'Now I was once a fool, it's true I played the game by all the rules But now my worlds a deeper blue I'm sadder but I'm wiser too I swore I'd never love again Swore my heart would never mend Said love wasn't worth the pain But then I hear it call my name  
  
The trouble with love is It can tear you up inside Make your heart believe a lie It's stronger than your pride The trouble with love is It doesn't care how fast you And you can't refuse the call See you got no say at all  
  
Ever time I turn around I think I got it all figured out My heart keeps calling and I keep on falling Over and over again This sad story always ends the same Me, standing in the pouring rain Seems no matter what I do It tears my heart in two  
  
The trouble with love is It can tear you up inside Make your heart believe a lie It's stronger than your pride The trouble with love is It doesn't care how fast you And you can't refuse the call See you got no say at all'  
  
Elizabeth was in tears when the song ended. It just hit her that this was it. There would be no more Mark in her life as a husband. Maybe not even as a friend. To her, losing him as a husband hurt, but losing him as a friend also, hurt worse. Like knives stabbing her in the back. She pulled into her parking spot and gently pulled the review mirror down so she could look at her eye make-up. Eyeliner ran down her cheeks along with the tears. She reached for her purse and pulled out her little plastic bag of tissues and took one out, wiping the soggy make-up off of her face. Then she took out her make-up and applied more to make her look like she was among the living. She sighed and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear before getting out of the car and walking towards the hospital to start a new day.  
  
Elsewhere.. As the car pulled up to the hospital, Susan spotted Elizabeth walking towards the entrance of the hospital, but stopping and sitting on the bench. Carter parked the car, and they walked towards the hospital together. Susan noticed the look on Elizabeth's face. She seemed to be upset, for which Susan knew the reason for her being so. She and Carter got to the doors before Elizabeth stood up and walked over to Susan. "Excuse me, Susan? Can I speak to you for a moment?" Elizabeth asked.  
  
Susan looked over to Carter, who had stopped when Elizabeth had pulled Susan aside. "I see you later." And looked back to Elizabeth. Carter walked inside. "Yes?"  
  
"I just want to say that I wish you and Mark the best of luck..." She paused. "And I don't blame you nor Mark for this happening. I am surprised it got this far."  
  
"Thank you, Elizabeth. I hope that this doesn't come between us becoming friends in the future?" Susan asked.  
  
"Not a chance." Elizabeth smiled. Susan smiled back. "See you around. Elizabeth walked into the hosptial as did Susan a few moments later.  
  
Surprisingly, the day went better than Susan had expected. She lost only one patient, only had a few interactions with Carter and Elizabeth, and got on Romano's good side. She hoped that every day would be like this, but she knew that days like these, were very rare. About to walk out of the hospital, Jerry pulled her aside.  
  
"Dr. Lewis, there is someone on the phone asking for you. Says it's important."  
  
"Okay, thank you, Jerry. I'll take it in the lounge." Susan said and walked in. "Hello?" She said answering.  
  
"Hello, Ms. Lewis. I am calling from New York Medical. we have your sister here." The man on the other end of the phone said.  
  
Susan sighed. "Is she okay?" Susan asked.  
  
"She has overdosed on drugs, and is in critical condition. We don't think that she will make it through the rest of the week. I am very sorry." He said and hung up.  
  
Susan hung the phone up, hands shaking and she paled. She knew Chloe would go back into her regular routine, but she never thought it would go this far and that she would die. All of sudden, nasua filled her and she felt faint. Luckily for her, Elizabeth came in and caught her in time.  
  
"Susan? Are you okay?" Elizabeth asked, concerned.  
  
It took a few moments for Susan to push the nasua away and for her vision to come back to normal. "Yeah, I am fine. Um, do you think that you could do me a favor?" Susan asked getting up.  
  
"Sure."  
  
"Tell Mark that I will be gone for a few days and not to worry." Susan said, still pale.  
  
"Is everything okay?" Elizabeth asked.  
  
"My sister overdosed on drugs and they don't think that she is going to make it through the week."  
  
"I am sorry. My wishes and hopes go out to you and your sister." Elizabeth said.  
  
"Thank you, Elizabeth." With that, Susan went to the train station.  
  
The next morning...  
  
Mark rolled over on the bed and extended his arm to wrap it around Susan, but she wasn't there. Automatically he feared the worst since he knew she was the kind of person to sleep in on her days off and would have been home by now. He got up and went downstairs, no sign of her. He went back upstairs and got on the phone. After a few rings, she picked up.  
  
"Hello?" Elizabeth asked.  
  
"Hi, did Susan leave last night when her shift was over?" Mark asked.  
  
"Oh, Mark. She had somewhere to be and will be home in a few days." Elizabeth replied.  
  
"Where did she have to go?" Mark asked.  
  
"Her sister overdosed on drugs and she had to be there for her. She left right away last night." Elizabeth said wiping her hair away from her face.  
  
"Chloe." Mark said. "Thank you, Elizabeth. Bye." He said and hung up. 


	7. Goodbye

Chapter 7: Good-bye  
  
Susan ran to the desk, out of breath because they hit traffic on their way to the hospital. She ended up getting out of the cab and ran the rest of the way. "Hi, I am Susan Lewis. My sister was brought here." she looked at her watch, "yesterday."  
  
"Ah, yes. She's in the ICU on the forth floor. Room 425." The desk clerk said with more manners with Randi and Frank put together.  
  
"Thank you." Susan said. She speed walked to the elevator which took too long. Getting frustrated, she took the stairs. She raced up the four flights of stairs and to her sister's room. As she got to Chloe's room, she almost toppled over from stopping so quickly. In her career, she had seen many people hooked up to various tubes and wires, but looking at her sister on the bed made her sick to her stomach. She slowly walked over to her sister's bedside and pulled up a seat. Sitting down, she took her sister's hand and looked down at Chloe.  
  
"Chloe, I know you can hear me. I want you to know that I am so sorry for this happening to you. I am your sister, and I should have kept a better eye on you more. Chloe, I know that you wanted Susie to be here, but I couldn't bring her here and let her see you like this." She paused for a minute, as the tears started to pool in her eyes, then spilling down her cheeks. "I love you, Chloe. So much. Even though I didn't show it..all the time..I hope that you know that I never loved you any less." Chloe opened her eyes.  
  
"Susie? You came?" Chloe asked, but also saying it in a thankful tone. Her voice was scratchy and she had a hard time breathing, so Susan put the mask on her face to help her breath.  
  
"Of course I came." She smiled through tears.  
  
"Thank you, Susie, for coming. I didn't want to be alone when..you know." A tear slipped down her cheek. "I screwed up big time, huh Susie?"  
  
"Don't blame yourself, Chloe. You were sick and couldn't stop. I wish that I could tell you that everything was going to be okay, but we both know that would be a lie.."She looked down, then back up, her bottom lip trembling.  
  
"I am scared, Susie. I don't want..I don't want to die. I wish that I never got on drugs so that I could be with you and Susie. I screwed up my life. This is my fault." More tears started spilling over both of their cheeks, sitting there quietly. The only noise in the room was of their sobs and Chloe's heart monitor. Chloe ended up crying herself to sleep, still holding Susan's hand, but Susan remained awake. She watched Chloe's vitals; they lowered at times for brief moments, but came back up again. It wasn't until the next day that Chloe got worse and she slipped away.  
  
1 week later..  
  
It was after the funeral that Susan got to see Mark. She had stayed with her mom and dad until the day of the funeral. Even with Mark, though, she didn't enjoy a single thing in life. As she and Mark sat in their new apartment, which Mark had moved everything into with the help of Carter, Susan decided to put some music on to take her thoughts away from Chloe's death.  
  
'Oh, why you look so sad, The tears are in your eyes, C'mon and come to me now, Don't be ashamed to cry, Let me see you through, 'Cause I've seen the dark side too, When the night falls on you, And don't know what to do, Nothing you confess, Could make me love you less,  
  
I'll stand by you, I'll stand by you, Won't let nobody hurt you, I'll stand by you,  
  
So, if you're mad get mad, Don't hold it all inside, C'mon and talk to me now, Hey, what do you got to hide, I get angry too, Well I'm a lot like you, When you're standing at the crossroads, And don't know which path to choose, Let me come along , 'Cause even if you're wrong,  
  
I'll stand by you, I'll stand by you, Won't let nobody hurt you, I'll stand by you, Take me in into your darkest hour, And I'll desert you ,  
  
I'll stand by you',  
  
As the song continued being sung by the 'Pretenders', Mark held Susan in his arms on the couch. She looked up at him with pain in her eyes. He hated seeing her like this. He felt so bad and wanted her to forget that all this ever happened. But she was too vulnerable. Or so he thought.  
  
"Mark, kiss me. Make me forget." She said, plead in her voice. He looked into her eyes, and through them, he asked 'are you sure?' When she didn't pull away and he was sure this was what she wanted, he kissed her. In the way back of his mind, Mark thinking to himself that he was glad Rachel was with her mother and Susie was with Cookie. As the kiss became a little too intense to keep it in the living room, Mark guided Susan to their bedroom 


End file.
